Fasting is a means of learning self restraint and patience. With
patience we are able to strengthen our resolve to worship Allah alone,
with sincerity, and also cope with life’s ups and downs,
Few things
are more demanding than eliminating bad habits, since they are part of
our daily routines and personality. It takes days of patience and
practice to break old habits.
However, the good news is, Ramadan
offers a perfect and natural environment for moral training.
Interestingly, researches from “positive psychology” (scientific study
of successful people) have repeatedly shown it takes 30 days to kick a
bad habit and develop a new one.
In addition to the physical
discipline in the 30-day boot camp of Ramadan, the increased spiritual
exercise and connection with Allah, can transform your habits for life.
Try these proven techniques for a successful positive change in your habits (during Ramadan and beyond!):
1. Acknowledge and identify your bad habits:
First
step is to admit you need to change. If you are in a state of denial,
you won’t recognize that you have a bad habit to change.
2. Pick a habit for 30 days:
Prioritize
your bad habits and focus on one for 30 days. Take a 30-day trial to
re-condition your habits. If you are committed to changing at least one
habit, you will see remarkable results, God-willing.
3. Realize that it’s in us to change:
Don’t
believe the old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” You
can break a bad habit if you really want to. No one else can change your
habits, if you don’t want to.
4. Remember, Allah loves those who commit mistakes and repent:
Prophet Muhammad said:
“By
Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah
would sweep you out of existence and He would replace (you by) those
people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He
would have pardoned them.” [Sahih Muslim]
5. Intention & plan to change:
“If
you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” A healthy process of change in
character requires a gradual pace, which entails planning. Develop
concrete milestones to measure your progress.
6. Replace a bad habit with a good one:
Completely
eliminating a habit is more challenging than replacing it with a more
productive habit. Moreover, it’s crucial to replace the lost natural
needs, such as the need to socialize and to be entertained with
something healthy.
For instance, it’s easier to replace or balance
your addiction to TV with a physical workout or reading, than to
suddenly remove the TV from your life. Interestingly, Prophet Muhammad,
the greatest ‘psychologist’ of humanity, illustrated this principle in
these words:
“Fear Allah wherever you may be; follow up an evil deed
with a good one which will wipe (the former) out, and behave
good-naturedly towards people.” [At-Tirmidhi]
7. Change your environment:
Resist
the negative peer pressure by finding a better company of friends.
Collective action to change is very powerful. Prophet Muhammad explained
this peer pressure effect with this analogy:
“A good friend and a
bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The
perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy
some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the
blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will
breathe in the fumes of the furnace.” [Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim]
8. Exercise (physical and spiritual):
A
habit of regular physical exercise is obviously important for lasting
weight loss. But you may not realize that exercise helps in eliminating a
number of bad habits. For example, among smokers who become competitive
runners, for example, over 80% give up smoking.
Moreover, exercising
your will power (struggle to fight temptations) for 30 days helps you
kick all kinds of bad habits and form new good ones. Willpower is like a
muscle; the more you exercise it, the more you strengthen it.
9. Think of yourself as a changed, different, new person:
This
simple psychological shift in your thinking about your own image can do
wonders. Tell yourself, “I can’t continue this ill-behaviour. I am
better than that. I am stronger. I am wiser.”
10. Reward success:
The
most fundamental law in all of psychology is the “law of effect.” It
simply states that actions followed by rewards are strengthened and
likely to recur. Unfortunately, studies show that people rarely use this
technique when trying to change personal habits.
Setting up formal
or informal rewards for success greatly increases your chances of
transforming bad habits into good ones, and is far more effective than
punishing yourself for bad habits or setbacks. As Muslims we should also
remember that the ultimate reward is Allah’s Pleasure and Paradise in
the Hereafter.
11. Schedule / limit your bad habits:
If you
are really struggling to kick a bad habit, try limiting the habit to a
specific time and place. Research and case studies confirm that this
rather unconventional approach can be a useful first step in changing
bad habits or learning new good ones.
12. Tell someone about your effort to change if it helps:
He or she may keep you on track.
13. Resolve to continue on and follow up:
Giving up bad habits or learning good habits requires regular
maintenance and determination. It is a long, ongoing process, also known
as “Tazkiyyah” in Islamic terminology. It’s more difficult than the
first few steps of change. (“How many times have I dieted, for example,
only to gain the weight back?”)
14. Remind yourself of death and hereafter often:
Prophet
Muhamamd peace be upon him said: “Remember often the terminator (or
destroyer) of all the pleasures [i.e. death],” the Prophet once stated.
[At-Tirmidhi.]
15. Develop a relapse strategy:
How do you
ensure not to return to your bad habit you are trying to change? Some
people donate money to a good cause every time they return to sinning or
a bad habit. This reminds them of the ‘cost’ of going back to old bad
habits. Others try physically demanding acts to deter them from
reverting to old ways.
16. Ask Allah for help:
Last but not
least, make Asking for Allah’s Help an integral part of the overall
change process. Ask for Allah’s Help before, during and after every
attempt at kicking a bad habit. Do so sincerely, even begging and
crying, like a child does when he or she really wants something. Allah
is Ever-Willing to Help and to Respond to our needs, but it is us who
must take the first step towards Him.
“And whosoever is conscious of
Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He (Allah) will make a way for him to
get out (from) every (difficulty), and He will provide him from
(sources) he could never imagine.” [Quran 65:2-3]
By:
"Truely, The Religion With God Is Islam." (Holy Qur'an 3:19)
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